*The above audio is real time while I’m recording a walk and talk podcast and it' starts raining!*
In Seminary, you read. When you are done, you read more because you’re never done. You read about God and you think, that’s sort of weird but somehow you love Him more, “Whoa I never thought about Him like that!”1 But reading about God, through people who dedicate their lives to studying the Bible, isn’t the same as being WITH God personally. And so, yesterday after a podcast I was listening to on 1 Timothy with queen, Lynn Kohick2 ended, I felt the nudge to just turn everything off and pray. There is no formula for my prayers, I pray thoughtout the day constantly but they are quick. However, On my 6 and 7 mile walks3,
I have a lot of time to spend a stretch or two being with God.
I had the most specific ask during this prayer time. It was random and felt trivial: I had just posted some of my artwork for bid on instagram and I wanted a specific price. The price bid currently was great, but I had my heart set on a number. Just as the story on instagram has expired, a bid for the exact number I prayed for came in. I marveled. Not because I got what I wanted, but because God was listening to me. I needed to know God was listening so desperately, because I have been praying a different, more serious prayer for provision for a long time—Seemingly, with no answer at all. When there is no answer to a long-suffering prayer, I tend to think my prayers are escaping His ears by default. Even worse, that He’s ignoring me. I lose hope not because I am suffering, but because my theology is bad: I don’t think He cares for me.
Today on my walk, I thanked Him for answering my prayer and for the confidence it gave me to keep persistently praying for that which I am earnestly seeking God’s provision. I told him that it doesn’t seem like He hears me sometimes, even though that’s not true, as he just showed me. Then I began recording a walk and talk podcast for this marathon walk training telling the story above and as I came to the end, I felt sprinkles. This can’t be right! I had checked the radar, not a cloud in sight.
Then it got darker, ominous, and bigger drops fell.
The trail I walk on has some shelters but they are spaced between 3 miles or so. If you need a drink from a water fountain, you had better take it because 3 miles takes a good while when you’re thirsty. But, as the droplets got bigger, right in front of me—truly, 5 steps in front of me, was a shelter. I took cover just as the most torrential downpour began to fall with not much warning (Hello, Kansas City). If it weren’t for Ron and his dog, June, making small talk about the dang radar not showing any rain this morning, I might have cried. As Nato pulled up, the rain almost came to a stop. Ron laughed, “Oh no! Just when he shows up, the rain stops!” I was annoyed a little—I had at least 3-4 miles to go. But then as we drove, my ingratitude ceased when the rain pelted sideways and lightening crashed. It was like GOD put umbrellas for me everywhere I walked, even to the car. I tried to tell nato about it but got a little teary, only able to say, “He hears our prayers, babe.”
I left the house one hour earlier than my usual time because I woke up early for some reason. I woke up singing a memory verse we are supposed to memorize for seminary: suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope and Hooooope does not put us to shame. Because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit! (Insert music emoji).4
So you’re telling me, I woke up singing a song about endurance and hope, that If I would have left one hour later, I don’t know what area of the trail I would have been on? You’re telling me, I’m recording a little podcast about God providing for me through a trivial request of pricing for art work. How he knows what we need, and how he listens. How He is attentive even when I am grappling with questions of will he really provide for me? And then a surprise storm comes and I am immediately provided shelter at the exact time it’s starts raining?5 Sorry, but I don’t believe in coincidences. What I do believe is that God is teaching me something tangibly about timing and provision. And He is teaching me something about His attentiveness towards my needs inside of the endurance this life requires and that it’s producing character and hope in me. I thanked God so many times for these little morsels that help me see He isn’t ignoring me. It gave me a pep in my step, confidence in Him. Maybe it will help you too. He sees you, He attends to you, He provides for you, He likes it when you are bold in your prayers. So go out on a limb, ask Him again about that thing you feel tired and stressed over. Maybe he’ll move a weather pattern just for you. Haha!! Jk. Maybe?
Thanks for hanging,
Jami
P.S. I am working on prints of the NOT FOR EVERYONE, Jesus bubble gum, Girl with a pearl earring bubble gum and I’ll let you know when they’re available for pre-order!
UMMMMM pray about going to Denver Seminary and joining a women’s cohort. This has been life changing!
great podcast by the way
Yes, I am training to walk a marathon with Love Paced Race. You should join me! Lots of good resources and this walking thing is changing my body and mind. Truly, if you’re in peri or menopause this is a game changer. Training began June 3 but you’re not too late. You start by walking 30 min!
Cheesy, but it sticks!
Why can I hear "The storm provides!" from thunderclap in The Good Dinosaur lol
This was SO good and just what I needed. Thank you for sharing. It’s so true that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. It just hurts getting to hope and we have to constantly remind ourselves that God is truly with us for it ALL.
Cringing at myself for commenting— but this message is entirely what I’m walking through that it felt wild. The other day my 2yr old lost this Lego Piglet in our postage stamp of a backyard. I can’t describe my unreasonable frustration that I couldn’t find Piglet. I said to God, “I realize this is incredibly ridiculous, and I don’t know if I’m just testing you here, but I really need to find Piglet. I need you to show me Piglet.” I’ve been asking a big prayer for a while now, and the same doubts you shared are playing mind games with me about God and prayer. The next morning I was sitting on the hammock, and my husband looked under me, under the fence, under my neighbor’s deck, and saw Piglet’s 1/2 inch feet sticking out. I needed Piglet to show me God hears me(does that sound blasphemous 🤔). Anyway, thanks for the reminder. These stories make me smile at God.