Creating and Cringe (and Christianity?)
on learning to be unliked while acting like yourself
Have you seen Ira Glass’ video about creating? It’s a snippet from an interview he did and it’s so good. It’s my phrase for the year: “CLOSE THE GAP” If you’re a creator, which I think is everyone in varying capacities, you’ll notice that the biggest deterrent in creating anything is yourself. Or better put, the ego— I know it is for me. It’s the fear that you’re going to put something out there and the people won’t like it, and maybe worse, they’ll cringe. I’ve cringed at people’s instagram posts and I’ve also eye-rolled because I am sometimes an asshole like the next person. HOWEVER, I respect them for putting it out there. And guess what, it doesn’t matter what I think about their work or video or post. It is inconsequential because they don’t need me.
And I think that is how you have to create. Truly, I don’t need everyone to like my work. The attitude that there’s enough out there for everyone— that there’s enough audience and enough ideas is when a creator creates good (and even mediocre) things. But you have to believe that and this takes work and practice. It is a muscle, an exercise of belief. I would be remiss for not telling anyone who will listen that this is tied to my faith. The more I am acting like myself is to believe God made me specifically to operate in my gifts with this particular bend. When I honor that, I honor Him. This is difficult work because it’s easier to look at what others are doing and wish I could do things like them. That bankrupts my creativity while simultaneously stealing my enjoyment of their gifts.
I don’t want to live like that. I listened to Jimmy Carter’s funeral on the radio and I was really convicted in the best way to live my life in service to others with integrity to myself and God and congruence to my faith.1 To be a blessing to others even when it costs quite a bit. But you live to 100 and your family who has watched your life stands up and says, “He saved and reused ziplock bags, can you believe it!” But see, that’s good storytelling and it tells you who Jimmy was when no one cared and no one was watching. Jimmy created in ways that are different than I do, but he created non stop and not for applause. It was a practice that became who he was. So that’s how I want to live too, not in fear of people, but for people’s delight and betterment. I do wonder how much we are robbed of people not practicing their gifts like this? I think heaven will be like this, I hope it is. But you know we are told to pray thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven! Like give us heaven now, God! A glimpse at least, a crumb! Everyone being who they really are for the building up of others— Son of a Gun, I’m in.
So in the spirit of life being so very short, I guess I want to encourage you to create today without needing it to be perfect or liked. To get out of the way of yourself, to really practice that kind of risk taking until you break out of the cage that isn’t really there and learn or re-learn how to fly. The ultimate cringe isn’t being unliked by others, it’s living your life needing to be liked so that you stay in your tiny cage until your life is over (which is soon, I hate to break it to everyone). Is that depressing or liberating LOL? Either way, let it motivate you to start that book, enroll to go back to school, make the music, write the newsletter, make the video and post it, quit the bad habit, ask for the job, quit scrolling/consuming content for 8 hours and actually create something! Stare at the blank page and question your life, but don’t you dare quit before you write a sentence. Just START.
And if you need help with that tangibly, I wrote a whole book about it!
I cried through the entire funeral. It was so beautiful. It was so scripture laced, the entire nation listened to the beatitudes read and it was like a balm for our nation. We are living in such nationalistic times, with emphasis on power and to listen to scripture and prayers collectively was something I didn’t know I needed. My favorite speech was his Grandson’s, Jason Carter’s, so fast forward to 2 hrs 15 ish minutes. Great writing, great memories, and just wonderful to listen to.