My Sit-Down Season
and some book recs
I have tried to take a minute and process finishing school. I didn’t finish my degree in undergrad by one course, Young Adult Literature because the school failed to see I was missing it until I was student teaching. I was literally teaching Young Adult Literature to juniors and seniors LOL. Anyway, I got special permission to enter the graduate program at Denver Seminary. But the point is that I didn’t think I would really finish, or could really finish. ADHD is really tough when combined with perimenopause. I cried from frustration my very first semester. I watched 4 classmates drop out. Smooshing a 5 year program into 3 means double the course load and also a summer course and it was sometimes crushing. I neglected my home and my family when papers were due. #balance. I was very annoyed with academic writing and then got the hang of it and have to remember that I don’t need to write like that here.
Yet, for all of the annoyance, there’s no other way to get what I got out the thing. School makes you sit and listen. God told me it was my “sit down season” and this is difficult for a person who likes to spin a lot of plates. It was like every time I tried to spin a plate, it would fall of the stick thingy. I can’t tell if the education or the women and teachers I went to school with were more impactful but I guess I don’t have to chose. I got them both. I wouldn’t have made it through without the quality of education I was so hungry for or the women beside me saying, “KEEP GOING!”
There’s a story in the Bible when Martha and Mary (and your boy Laz) were hosting Jesus and all their disciples. Martha gets a bad rap but the story goes that she saw Jesus in the village and invited them over (she was generous, exhibiting initiative, showing faith). Anyway, that would have been a lot of work, especially because it was spontaneous, so ya, Martha was a little distracted. And Mary, her younger sister, was so captivated by Jesus’ teaching she sits WITH THE MEN, in the men’s quarters at the feet of this rabbi. That’s what students did, they sat at the feet of the teacher and listened to their wisdom. Women did not do this sort of thing and it would have been embarrassing to Martha to see her sister behaving this way publicly1. Now Luke is the only one that writes about this. At the beginning of his book, He says many have undertaken to write down the most important stories of Jesus’ life and death, but he wants to carefully investigate and write it better.2 Luke loves the marginalized and outsider the most, he is a gentile himself, so we must play close attention to stories only he included. He highlights women on purpose!
Luke had to have talked to Mary, Martha, Laz, or the disciples himself. He told Martha she was “upset and worried,” which is interesting because that’s different than being distracted over hosting. But that Mary chose the better thing. Sitting down, listening, taking it all in. “And it will not be taken from her.” That’s the thing, my sit down season was not productive, I sat and was quiet and I received. I quit making money on ads, and instead spent all of our money on education. What I gained was a deeper love for God, a confidence, wisdom that is not worldly, and a couple bed sores. I for sure gained weight lol. No one can ever take that away from me. I remember when I was building a team with YL and I would tell my girls, at every turn, this business may go away, you may quit, but no one can take your personal development from you. The better thing was being developed, not whatever developed business-wise.
The Bible had been weaponized against me, to keep me small on account of my uterus, to keep me quiet. I know this was heartbreaking for God to watch, but He knew something I didn’t: He would use His words to heal me. That same bible would tell me the truth. You can use the ESV to beat me up, but the gospel will still prevail. The calling on my life cannot be squelched by men hungry for power and pulpits and denominations hell bent on mimicking the world’s flawed system of patriarchy. This is why the gospel of Jesus was INSANE in Jesus’ day and why in Acts (also written by Luke!) people watched Christians, male and female, slave and free, Jew and Gentile, laying their lives down for each other and they wanted in on it. Talk about a socialist society, they sold all their possessions and made sure everyone had enough. Thousands added daily! Can you imagine? In a time when people are leaving the church in droves, this one was so filled with the Spirit, the church exploded.
It is weird to say but the church harmed me, the church healed me. Bible teachers hurt me and bible teachers healed me. God never changed but I transformed. No one can take what I know about God from me and now I will bring it to you. Morsel by morsel, whatever you can handle, in hopes that you will taste and see that He is so good. I laugh at those who try and tell me to shut up and I don’t mean that in condescending way or in anger, I mean, you have no idea who you’re up against. My boldness comes from the creator of the universe, the one who conquered death and the one who will make all things new. Hahahahahahhahahahahahahhshshsh.3 I’m a silly educated goose on the loose.
N-E-WAY, thanks for following along on this journey. It is not lost on me that some of you have been faithful friends for a decade or more and I have changed quite a bit. As a thank you I will now force you to spend money on books.
Here is what I would recommend from my schooling:
NIV Theological Study Bible: I like big footnotes and I cannot lie. I want to know what’s going on in the culture, why, and what weird stuff means when I read it. I want to know who the audience is and I want a scholar who has devoted their life to this book to write it.
Bearing God’s Name by Carmen Joy Imes: This is a must read to understanding Israel, being God’s people and what it means to bear God’s name, aka don’t take his name (on) in vain. This does not mean saying OMG. This will make the OT make so much more sense!
Epic of Eden by Sandra Richter: Get this book on your shelf ASAP. Not only will the OT start making a lot of sense, but you’ll be like WHOA, not the NT makes so much sense. This book helped me see Genesis and Revelation as bookending itself in redemption and new creation.
Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes and Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes by Kenneth Bailey. Now these were not a part of my curriculum but I had never heard a scholar articulate how westerners have misccomunicated and mistranslated some of the more difficult texts about women. Bailey made me want to go to Seminary. These books are revolutionary especially if Paul really irritates you. I loved him but the end of these. Sorry ‘bout that, Paul. Your reformed baptist boys made you look like an A-hole.
Women in the Mission of the Church by Dzbinski/Stasson: This also made me want to go to seminary. These two scholars discuss the history of women in the Church and it is insanely phenomenal. Women have been such an integral part of leadership and ministry and have largely been erased. I was so encouraged by this well-researched book on the leadership of women throughout all of time and location.
The Prophetic Imagination by Walter Bruggeman: Christians do not know their history (I mean, their spiritual history) and they certainly ignore the prophets bc those guys be weird. Bruggeman traces the history of Israel, the community God intended to build, and the prophets who came to lament, protest, complaint worldly social order. He shows you how Jeremiah, Moses, et al, to John the Baptist and Jesus are doing all the same thing and how this should shape our ethics as Christians.
Many of these can be downloaded for free on HOOPLA or library apps.
I am thinking about making a course so that people can understand their bible’s better and learn about Jesus without all the crazy nationalism and influencer mayhem out there. My hope is that people will be drawn back to the Father, especially if they have been wounded, disenchanted, deconstructed, and for the lamenting. We’ll see what happens!
And, if you want to support my work, you can share my posts or become a paid member on this substack. No pressure! Just glad you’re here.
Jami
Kenneth Baily taught this in the book I will later mention. It was socially shameful to behave in such a way. The male disciples would have been uncomfortable too. So you can see them making eyes at the older sister like UM, come get your GURL. That would have been upsetting to Martha.
“write it better” are my words but I think he obviously thought some gospels were lacking. Luke would have done a lot of investigative reporting by interviewing eyewitnesses.
I guess I’m not that academic after all.
The letters ESV trigger me. I would have appreciated a warning. 😏
Congratulations!!!!!🎊