hey friend!
I’m so grateful you decided to join me for #theCultivatingKind!
Each day, through the story below(, you’ll receive a prompt that will give you a way to show up for others. I want us to be the cultivating kind of people, not just the consuming kind of people.
DAY ONE: Come as you are!
I remember when my family and I had just moved to KC and we were at a new big school. I didn’t know anyone and felt like a fish out of water. Where we had lived before, I was so established, I didn’t have to try that hard because I knew people in those environments and it was pretty easy.
But not now.
I remember specifically going to a class event where parents were supposed to come, and I, with a newborn and blurry eyes, didn’t get that memo. I walked up to school as fast as I could and looked for Lila.
She was on the track and families were walking together. In front of her were lots of family groupings, laughing and talking to each other. Directly in front of Lila was a family of 3 holding hands and she was walking right behind them. Sigh, not included. I completely understood.
Just minutes before as I walked up to the inflatables and balloon arch, lot of moms stood in circles. I stood outside of them. Truly, I must have looked like a lost, sad cat because out of nowhere, a woman approached me.
Her accent was Ukrainian. “Hallow! You are new, yes? This is overwhelming, I understand. Who is your child?” And I felt a pang of relief: Someone sees me. We chatted, we made plans to go to lunch. She invited us in and told me all about how she came to America and ended up in the Midwest.
No doubt, she knew what it was like to come into an environment and feel left out. And when you experience this left-out-ness, it can either turn you bitter and inward, or it can turn you outward and seeing.
Since then, I made it my goal to find the new person at school standing alone while parents stand in their circles. I usher them over, “Meet my new friend! Her child is so and so.” While painful, this experience has stuck with me and it changed me.
What about you?
Is there a time when you felt apprehensive to join in and someone welcomed you in a space you felt scared to enter into?
Go live in stories and share, write it out and post it, or if it’s still too raw, thank the person directly who included you and tell them how it made you feel.
Comment below (here on my Substack website) with the link of your post. Don’t forget to tag me @jaminato on IG! If have a private IG account, copy and paste your story below so we can read it. If you want to connect with others, use the hashtag #theCultivatingKind so we can all find each other easily
Can’t wait to read your story!
Jami
Belonging… we all want to belong. And I’m sure we’ve all had the moment when we didn’t fit it, didn’t belong, felt unseen, felt unwanted. Recently I dropped Joy off for her first weekend away. When we walked in, lots of kids were sitting at different tables talking excitedly in anticipation about the weekend activities. Joy sat down at a table by herself. I cried as I left her that afternoon. This is happening more and more as she gets older. She had a great time at her school dance Thursday night. She said she saw this classmate and that class mate. “Who did you hang out with?”… By myself. I’m pretty sure it bothers me more than it bothers her. She is joy, thoughtful, kind, loving. It is a blessing to be her Mom and when she’s older, I hope I get to be her best friend. Until then, I’m committing to see the unseen. To make an active effort to the talk to the one standing on the outside. To value others and see them as God’s children and love them as He does.
We left a church in 2015 and found a church full of all the “no no’s” from our former church. It felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar. A man noticed we always escaped before the ending song. He introduced himself once, and remembered us by name every week!
We felt loved, seen, and a sense of belonging. The Lord captivated our hearts at this place and lead us into our next chapter! We are getting ready as a family of 6 to move to France as missionaries. To find and love the unseen, messy, uncomfortable people, like us!
God is good!